The ponderous question being; what drives people to do the nasty things they do?
I have been thinking about the answer to this question a lot lately.
Possible answers being:
-> Jealousy?
-> Spite?
-> Unhappiness?
Or,
-> Just plain mean at heart?
From recent experience, I'd like to answer with all of the above.
I have to say, I do not understand why people act like this. Are they that unsatisfied with their own lives that they need to bring others down with them? Maybe I'm just naive, I don't know... But from where I'm standing (or sitting, as the case may be), isn't it better to be happy for others when things go well in their lives? To congratulate them on their achievements and celebrate with them instead of feeling jealous and hard done by? Because, if you think about it, if you're envious of those who are meant to be your friends, shouldn't you take stock and reflect on your own life and ask yourself why you're jealous? Maybe you need to change some things that aren't working for you anymore.
Now, having said that, I am not claiming to have never been jealous of a friend. Because I'm sure we all have to some extent. It's how you use that envy that matters. Do you turn into the green-eyed monster and refuse to be happy? Or do you process it as a healthy, human emotion and move on from it making the conscious decision to rise above it and be happy for the other person?
I choose the latter option.
As for spite, unhappiness and just plain mean at heart, I personally try to see the best in people no matter how horrible they can be because is it really possible that there are black-hearted, nasty people out there that cannot be nice? Up until recently my answer would have been no. But unfortunately I have come across people who don't seem to have any 'nice' in them. This revelation makes me quite sad. Not just in myself, but sad for these people. Sad that they are living like this, with a perpetual black cloud above their heads determined to make everyone else as miserable as them. It also begs the question, "Why are they like this?". Is it a case of upbringing or environment? Or maybe just the simple fact that they believe the world owes them something?
I don't think I will ever find the answers to these questions, not unless I get a degree in psychology anyway...
Xxxx
Friday, August 30, 2013
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Trying to make this a habit...
So here we are once again.
I am trying to keep this blog regular, but most of the time I have nothing much to say!
But anyway. No matter.
Had an amazing weekend away with my lovely boyfriend! The weekend away made me realize how much I love him. It may only have been a short space of time that we have been together, but when it's right, you know it.
I only have one regret. That we didn't get our feelings sorted out sooner. Hindsight informed me that we had unspoken feelings for each other three years before we got our shit sorted and got together... Oh well, we have it all sorted now! And like I said last time, hindsight is a wonderful thing... LOL.
It just irritates me that we have lost out on three years together...
On the other hand, that three years wasn't exactly wasted. I learnt what I want out of life (mostly), learnt that despite how much effort one puts into someone or something the situation still may not change and learnt how I want to be treated by a man.
Every woman deserves to be treated like a queen by her man. Deserves to be fulfilled in every aspect of her life and relationship and deserves to be listened to and taken seriously.
And when I say "treated like a queen", I don't mean material things. Material possessions are all well and good but they cannot and will not fulfill an individual, or make a relationship great. It is the way we are treated emotionally and physically that makes a relationship great.
Anyway... that's enough deep and meaningful shit from me!
Xxx
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
A return from hiatus...
Hey people...
I can't even remember the last time I posted something up here... But, suffice to say, a lot has happened in whatever stretch of time it has been.
I got married and separated in the space of 14 months. Owned three motorbikes and had seven pet rats. Changed jobs twice, with a third on the horizon. Met the love of my life and realized what true love really is. Dyed my hair pink and re-discovered friendships that had fallen by the way-side. And learned what the meaning of crazy truly is.
So, you could say it has been an eventful space of time.
Leaving my marriage made me very aware of what people can truly be like. People say that they love and care about you, but when push comes to shove, they show their true colours. I realized that people can turn on you without uttering a word. Without even considering the other side of the coin, only that one face that they have been shown.
But, it can be the same with the people that you expect to be supportive. They can surprise you by inserting their opinions and judgements when all you need is unwavering support, no matter what decisions you have made. Then, on the other hand, you can also discover that the people you don't see as much as you should can be the most supportive of all.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. If only hindsight was available to us in the moments that we need it. The moments that we need that clarity to see what is right in front of us, to ensure that we are making the right decisions and won't end up with numerous moments of regret in the future. But then, that wouldn't be hindsight I guess...
Thanks to the wonders of hindsight I realized that I didn't actually fit into the world I had inserted myself in. It didn't make me feel good. I thought it made me feel good when I was in it and oblivious. But, in reality, I didn't fit. And when it comes down to it, when it comes to the big scheme of things, that is absolutely fine by me. I have a new world now that I fit into perfectly, and I can appreciate that fully now because I have been where I don't belong and know how it feels.
I have spent a lot of time reflecting on the last three years. Wishing I had been more observant and picked up on the more subtle things going on in my surroundings and in my interactions with others. Wishing I had done things differently, or known things then that I know now.
But on a positive note, I have realized how life can really be. It is now filled with love, laughter and fun. Excitement for the future and more happiness than I have had for a long time.
'Till next time guys!
I can't even remember the last time I posted something up here... But, suffice to say, a lot has happened in whatever stretch of time it has been.
I got married and separated in the space of 14 months. Owned three motorbikes and had seven pet rats. Changed jobs twice, with a third on the horizon. Met the love of my life and realized what true love really is. Dyed my hair pink and re-discovered friendships that had fallen by the way-side. And learned what the meaning of crazy truly is.
So, you could say it has been an eventful space of time.
Leaving my marriage made me very aware of what people can truly be like. People say that they love and care about you, but when push comes to shove, they show their true colours. I realized that people can turn on you without uttering a word. Without even considering the other side of the coin, only that one face that they have been shown.
But, it can be the same with the people that you expect to be supportive. They can surprise you by inserting their opinions and judgements when all you need is unwavering support, no matter what decisions you have made. Then, on the other hand, you can also discover that the people you don't see as much as you should can be the most supportive of all.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. If only hindsight was available to us in the moments that we need it. The moments that we need that clarity to see what is right in front of us, to ensure that we are making the right decisions and won't end up with numerous moments of regret in the future. But then, that wouldn't be hindsight I guess...
Thanks to the wonders of hindsight I realized that I didn't actually fit into the world I had inserted myself in. It didn't make me feel good. I thought it made me feel good when I was in it and oblivious. But, in reality, I didn't fit. And when it comes down to it, when it comes to the big scheme of things, that is absolutely fine by me. I have a new world now that I fit into perfectly, and I can appreciate that fully now because I have been where I don't belong and know how it feels.
I have spent a lot of time reflecting on the last three years. Wishing I had been more observant and picked up on the more subtle things going on in my surroundings and in my interactions with others. Wishing I had done things differently, or known things then that I know now.
But on a positive note, I have realized how life can really be. It is now filled with love, laughter and fun. Excitement for the future and more happiness than I have had for a long time.
'Till next time guys!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Hey guys,
So I thought it was about time for another post. I seem to be getting a little slack at this... I blame my... busy life. Yes, that's it... I'm so busy I barely have time to breathe!
But in all seriousness, my life of late has been rather a busy one. What with working, working at the in-laws after work and doing housework (too much work here...) I haven't really had time to do anything for myself. The only thing keeping me sane at the moment is the upcoming Christmas holidays.
Really looking forward to having two (hopefully three) weeks off to chill out and do fuck all! I plan on sitting in the sun with beer/wine and catching up on my reading. It pisses me off that come the end of the day I'm too bloody tired to get a decent way through whatever I am reading. At the moment it is Keep the Aspidistra Flying, by George Orwell. Which I am very much relating to being an artist... But that is another post entirely.
I was quite surprised that I got four chapters read this afternoon! Usually my weekends are so full of doing things I don't have time for or am too tired to do, during the working week.
But anyway.
I have been pondering the whole "Life" thing again. And what I really want to do with mine. I am turning 26 in April and feel I have done nothing. Or at least not much of note.
Of course I want to do the things like get married to my partner, buy a house and possibly have children. But until then I need a job/career that I WANT to do. Not what I feel like I SHOULD do. I have been struggling with this conundrum for as long as I can remember. Well, since I was about 16 I think... And I have come to the decision, almost, that I want to do an English degree.
I am not entirely sure what job I can get with this, but I do know that it will be something I enjoy studying anyway.
It sucks getting old. You seem to gain the weight of the world on your shoulders and you become more and more aware of your own mortality. What happened to the days where you would do whatever you felt without being afraid of the consequences? Oh that's right, old age caught up with you!
Everyone tells me that 26 isn't old. That I am still young. Well, I don't feel it people! Maybe I'm and old soul stuck in a (relatively) young persons body. Who knows...
Now, on a completely different topic, does anyone know anything that will help stop me being so tired during the day! And please don't say the obvious, sleep. I get enough sleep!
So there you go. A little bit of food for thought. Or whatever. Lol.
Meh, back later.
:D
So I thought it was about time for another post. I seem to be getting a little slack at this... I blame my... busy life. Yes, that's it... I'm so busy I barely have time to breathe!
But in all seriousness, my life of late has been rather a busy one. What with working, working at the in-laws after work and doing housework (too much work here...) I haven't really had time to do anything for myself. The only thing keeping me sane at the moment is the upcoming Christmas holidays.
Really looking forward to having two (hopefully three) weeks off to chill out and do fuck all! I plan on sitting in the sun with beer/wine and catching up on my reading. It pisses me off that come the end of the day I'm too bloody tired to get a decent way through whatever I am reading. At the moment it is Keep the Aspidistra Flying, by George Orwell. Which I am very much relating to being an artist... But that is another post entirely.
I was quite surprised that I got four chapters read this afternoon! Usually my weekends are so full of doing things I don't have time for or am too tired to do, during the working week.
But anyway.
I have been pondering the whole "Life" thing again. And what I really want to do with mine. I am turning 26 in April and feel I have done nothing. Or at least not much of note.
Of course I want to do the things like get married to my partner, buy a house and possibly have children. But until then I need a job/career that I WANT to do. Not what I feel like I SHOULD do. I have been struggling with this conundrum for as long as I can remember. Well, since I was about 16 I think... And I have come to the decision, almost, that I want to do an English degree.
I am not entirely sure what job I can get with this, but I do know that it will be something I enjoy studying anyway.
It sucks getting old. You seem to gain the weight of the world on your shoulders and you become more and more aware of your own mortality. What happened to the days where you would do whatever you felt without being afraid of the consequences? Oh that's right, old age caught up with you!
Everyone tells me that 26 isn't old. That I am still young. Well, I don't feel it people! Maybe I'm and old soul stuck in a (relatively) young persons body. Who knows...
Now, on a completely different topic, does anyone know anything that will help stop me being so tired during the day! And please don't say the obvious, sleep. I get enough sleep!
So there you go. A little bit of food for thought. Or whatever. Lol.
Meh, back later.
:D
Friday, October 29, 2010
Good times
Hey guys!
Back again haha.
Just had a really good night out with my best friend and her partner drinking and having laughs. I reckon that's always the best kind of good night. Don't have to be in town partying it up to have fun!
Tarot cards are good fun too. Always need to be taken seriously though if you believe in that sort of thing, which I happen to.
It's quite freaky how accurate they can be, really. I got a few cards tonight but the ones that will stick in my mind most are the one that told me I need to follow my heart in respect to a career. Which makes a lot of sense and means a lot to me considering I have chopped and changed ideas of what I think I should do. But now it is becoming clearer to me that what I really want to do is English. So I am taking the plunge and applying for University for next year. By correspondence though so I can still work and earn teh monies.
The other card I got, well two consecutive cards, were patience! And to have more of it! This also makes a lot of sense to me considering that my entire life I have had little to no patience what so ever. But apparently if I am to be patient then all I want shall work out...
Another one said that there is someone in my life who is manipulating and bringing me down pretty much, and that I need to get rid of them. I can't figure out who this might be as over this last year I have made a point of ditching the people that I feel are causing me to be unhappy and surrounding myself with good people. My friend pointed out that it could mean there WILL be someone entering my life who is manipulative etc. So I'll be wary I think...
So yeah! For me this is all very interesting stuff :-)
Got myself more books! I am so in love with Mighty Ape just now...
I have bought myself On the Road by Jack Kerouac and Confessions of an English Opium Eater by Thomas Hardy (?). And I ordered three more last night... Tee hee :-P
I is a geek! :-D
I'm really behind the times here (as usual) but I have an obsession with Tenacious D at the moment. Especially The Pick of Destiny soundtrack. It's epic!
Hmmm... So yeah. As you can see I'm not very interesting at the moment!
So I'm going to fuck off now and read Sherlock Holmes...
:-D
Back again haha.
Just had a really good night out with my best friend and her partner drinking and having laughs. I reckon that's always the best kind of good night. Don't have to be in town partying it up to have fun!
Tarot cards are good fun too. Always need to be taken seriously though if you believe in that sort of thing, which I happen to.
It's quite freaky how accurate they can be, really. I got a few cards tonight but the ones that will stick in my mind most are the one that told me I need to follow my heart in respect to a career. Which makes a lot of sense and means a lot to me considering I have chopped and changed ideas of what I think I should do. But now it is becoming clearer to me that what I really want to do is English. So I am taking the plunge and applying for University for next year. By correspondence though so I can still work and earn teh monies.
The other card I got, well two consecutive cards, were patience! And to have more of it! This also makes a lot of sense to me considering that my entire life I have had little to no patience what so ever. But apparently if I am to be patient then all I want shall work out...
Another one said that there is someone in my life who is manipulating and bringing me down pretty much, and that I need to get rid of them. I can't figure out who this might be as over this last year I have made a point of ditching the people that I feel are causing me to be unhappy and surrounding myself with good people. My friend pointed out that it could mean there WILL be someone entering my life who is manipulative etc. So I'll be wary I think...
So yeah! For me this is all very interesting stuff :-)
Got myself more books! I am so in love with Mighty Ape just now...
I have bought myself On the Road by Jack Kerouac and Confessions of an English Opium Eater by Thomas Hardy (?). And I ordered three more last night... Tee hee :-P
I is a geek! :-D
I'm really behind the times here (as usual) but I have an obsession with Tenacious D at the moment. Especially The Pick of Destiny soundtrack. It's epic!
Hmmm... So yeah. As you can see I'm not very interesting at the moment!
So I'm going to fuck off now and read Sherlock Holmes...
:-D
Sunday, October 24, 2010
RANT!
Hey guys,
So I'm pretty much just going to rant here for a bit to make me feel a tad better...
Things that are fucking me off:
1: GAMING and the amount of it my partner has done today. Usually I don't mind but it's when I have to listen to really annoying people on Team Speak that I object! Especially when I can hear a REALLY fucking irritating female voice OVER the headphones that I am trying to watch/hear a movie through! If I was playing Call of Duty I would be killing her ass and telling her to shut the fuck up cos no one wants to hear her whiny voice! I am about to go nato on something, I swear...
2: The fact that there is always fuck all on TV on a Sunday night. Why is that?? Don't people want to watch something really interesting/brutal/insane to block out the fact that work is only mere hours away? I know I do!
3: Constant random quiz posts on Facebook. Uh, guys? NO ONE WANTS THEIR PAGE SPAMMED WITH THAT SHIT.
I am an angry little person this evening. I'd apologise for it but I don't see why I should, really. It's my blog and I'll rant if I want to.
Do men ever grow up? What does a woman have to do to be taken seriously and listened to? Men are the most frustrating creatures in the world. I swear. Sometimes I wonder why we females as a whole put up with them. I'm sure there must be a reason, I just can't see it right now.
I'm quite tempted to jump on the scooter and go for a blat to let off some steam. The only thing that's stopping me is the fact that I will have to get dressed properly. Yes, I am lazy as well as angry right now. And hungry. Did I mention I'm hungry?
I will put something positive in here to make you feel a little better and like this wasn't a complete waste of your time.
Shop with Mighty Ape. I have fallen in love with them and their amazing deals. Plus shipping is cheap and they actually deliver when they say they will! Add to the fact that they have a whole range of books that you'd be hard pressed to find in stores. Well, Wellington stores anyway.
So there you go. There is my post for today. Feel free to comment and make me feel better. Or whatever. I just like it when people talk to me :-P
:-D
So I'm pretty much just going to rant here for a bit to make me feel a tad better...
Things that are fucking me off:
1: GAMING and the amount of it my partner has done today. Usually I don't mind but it's when I have to listen to really annoying people on Team Speak that I object! Especially when I can hear a REALLY fucking irritating female voice OVER the headphones that I am trying to watch/hear a movie through! If I was playing Call of Duty I would be killing her ass and telling her to shut the fuck up cos no one wants to hear her whiny voice! I am about to go nato on something, I swear...
2: The fact that there is always fuck all on TV on a Sunday night. Why is that?? Don't people want to watch something really interesting/brutal/insane to block out the fact that work is only mere hours away? I know I do!
3: Constant random quiz posts on Facebook. Uh, guys? NO ONE WANTS THEIR PAGE SPAMMED WITH THAT SHIT.
I am an angry little person this evening. I'd apologise for it but I don't see why I should, really. It's my blog and I'll rant if I want to.
Do men ever grow up? What does a woman have to do to be taken seriously and listened to? Men are the most frustrating creatures in the world. I swear. Sometimes I wonder why we females as a whole put up with them. I'm sure there must be a reason, I just can't see it right now.
I'm quite tempted to jump on the scooter and go for a blat to let off some steam. The only thing that's stopping me is the fact that I will have to get dressed properly. Yes, I am lazy as well as angry right now. And hungry. Did I mention I'm hungry?
I will put something positive in here to make you feel a little better and like this wasn't a complete waste of your time.
Shop with Mighty Ape. I have fallen in love with them and their amazing deals. Plus shipping is cheap and they actually deliver when they say they will! Add to the fact that they have a whole range of books that you'd be hard pressed to find in stores. Well, Wellington stores anyway.
So there you go. There is my post for today. Feel free to comment and make me feel better. Or whatever. I just like it when people talk to me :-P
:-D
Friday, October 22, 2010
Boo! Tee hee
Rahhh!
I am back! Lolz. Has been a while, but I have made it back to the land of blog. I don't even have the "I've been busy" excuse, as all I have done is work, work, sleep and work some more. So tiresome! All I can say is, thank fuck it's a three day weekend.
Just to update on the happenings, or lack there of...
We just enjoyed drinks at our house with four close friends. One of whom is leaving us for Australia soon. Very sad to see him go :-( But, tonight was a good night! Lots of drinks (not me) and great conversation plus heaps of laughs. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard.
We have acquired a new addition to our little rat family too (if I have already posted on this, I apologize). His name is Scrudder. Yes, slightly unfortunate but I don't think he minds too much... He is very tiny and so amazingly cute! And incredibly intelligent it would seem. He has just this evening figured out that when the lid to the enclosure is off he can climb the walls and get out. Not good. Now we are going to have to rearrange the whole cage to stop this Tarzan of a rat escaping! Cheeky fucker...
Still refusing to watch Breakfast since Paul Henry 'resigned'. I have heard mutterings that Tamati the weather guy will be taking his place. Even more reason to not watch...
Speaking of Tamati, we drove past a Tui billboard the other weekend and it said:
"I watch Breakfast for Tamati anyway. Yeah Right"
LOL fucking epic! Go you Tui beauties.
I pondered some more on what I am going to do as a career. I am thinking that I will do an English degree at Massey extramurally. Can't be a painter forever! Plus I love books... Hehe me nerd!
Like I said, lack of happenings.
It is currently 12:28am and I am sitting here wondering what to do with my long weekend. Do I sleep in? Probably. Do I read? Hopefully. Do I play Command and Conquer? More than likely. Do we blat around Wellington on the scooter? Hell yes!
I think that's all from me tonight. My brain has turned to mush...
:-D
I am back! Lolz. Has been a while, but I have made it back to the land of blog. I don't even have the "I've been busy" excuse, as all I have done is work, work, sleep and work some more. So tiresome! All I can say is, thank fuck it's a three day weekend.
Just to update on the happenings, or lack there of...
We just enjoyed drinks at our house with four close friends. One of whom is leaving us for Australia soon. Very sad to see him go :-( But, tonight was a good night! Lots of drinks (not me) and great conversation plus heaps of laughs. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard.
We have acquired a new addition to our little rat family too (if I have already posted on this, I apologize). His name is Scrudder. Yes, slightly unfortunate but I don't think he minds too much... He is very tiny and so amazingly cute! And incredibly intelligent it would seem. He has just this evening figured out that when the lid to the enclosure is off he can climb the walls and get out. Not good. Now we are going to have to rearrange the whole cage to stop this Tarzan of a rat escaping! Cheeky fucker...
Still refusing to watch Breakfast since Paul Henry 'resigned'. I have heard mutterings that Tamati the weather guy will be taking his place. Even more reason to not watch...
Speaking of Tamati, we drove past a Tui billboard the other weekend and it said:
"I watch Breakfast for Tamati anyway. Yeah Right"
LOL fucking epic! Go you Tui beauties.
I pondered some more on what I am going to do as a career. I am thinking that I will do an English degree at Massey extramurally. Can't be a painter forever! Plus I love books... Hehe me nerd!
Like I said, lack of happenings.
It is currently 12:28am and I am sitting here wondering what to do with my long weekend. Do I sleep in? Probably. Do I read? Hopefully. Do I play Command and Conquer? More than likely. Do we blat around Wellington on the scooter? Hell yes!
I think that's all from me tonight. My brain has turned to mush...
:-D
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)